Penny For Your Thoughts
by properploys
Summary: A journey of Tina and Mike's inner thoughts during the last 5 minutes or so of Dream On. References to Ballad  Slightly AU
1. Part 1: Mike

_**A/N:** I started this about 5 months ago, and finally managed to finish it. It sticks very closely to the events of the episodes, but is slightly A/U. Also, please don't judge me by the cheese factor of some of it. Sometimes I can't help myself. I LOVE CHEESE (this is why I'm not a vegan). As for this part, the lyrics belong to Beyonce and are not mine, and I mean no harm in using them, they just worked for the story telling._

* * *

"Will you at least sing the song?" He heard a small crack in her voice as she spoke the words, something most wouldn't notice. Only those who knew her well enough would be able to hear it and know it was just slightly off from her normal pattern of speech. It killed him, he'd grown to care about her so much, he hated hearing the pain she was obviously feeling at being let down that way. There wasn't exactly anything he could do though, he shouldn't have been listening in on their conversation in the first place, but Mike didn't mean to eavesdrop, it was an honest accident. He had been in the music room, minding his own business, just throwing a football around with the guys, when Puck's toss bounced off his fingertips and landed near the door. He had run over to grab it, and that was when he could hear the subdued voices of Artie and Tina out in the hall. He didn't intend on stopping, despite the fact that he worried about her, especially when it came to Artie, but having been the only one outside the two of them who knew what she had been up to that week, a few choice words caught his attention and then he found himself to be a secret third party to their conversation. It wasn't sounding good, he knew how hard she was working, and how excited she had been, but when he caught a quick glimpse of her face through the window, before ducking out of sight, he noticed that light was gone from her eyes.

Mike could still remember the day when he realized that Tina Cohen-Chang was special, when he first saw something more in her than that weird, quiet, goth girl who spoke a stutter. Before joining the Glee Club, he never even knew her name, let alone anything about her, aside from the fact that she was the one always hanging out with that nerd in the wheelchair. That was the funny thing about fate, it worked in ways that no one could understand, and somehow, in the grand cosmic universe, it pulled him in her direction, and caused her to pull his name out of the hat that day. Sure they had a small chance to hang out with each other before, when Sue had tried to split up the group, that was when he first took notice of her smile, and that was the first time he realized her laughter was a pleasant sound to his ears, something he gradually started wishing he could hear more of. That week was also the first time they had ended up as dance partners while they worked on one of their group numbers, and as soon as he had taken her hand for the first time, he knew that he liked the way it felt in his. The week they worked on ballads was different though, he hadn't truly gotten a chance to get to know the girl before then, and by that point, she was starting to make him curious.

There had only been a couple weeks between then and the first time she made his heart jump, but so much had changed in just that short time. It wasn't any secret to the club, what had happened between her and Artie the week prior, and while some seemed confused to find out the truth about her characteristic stutter, others just found it weird to hear her speak without it while she slowly slipped out of the habit of using it as a safety blanket, now that the truth was out there. Mike, on the other hand, became curious. It hadn't taken long for the word to spread and he heard the reasons, but he didn't understand. She was different than most, yes, she definitely had her own unique style, and while shyness was something he understood, the thing he couldn't figure out is why she'd want to completely hide herself from everyone, because from what he could tell, there was nothing about her she should feel ashamed of. There were a lot of looks and whispering in the days that followed, people filling in the blanks in the story on their own, something that would die off in a few days, as most high school gossip did, but through it all, and despite the fact that she had lost the person she cared most about, she managed to rise above it, and keep her head held high. Even through the pained expression she sported, she was taking the high road, and choose not to address it, ignoring it almost completely instead. It was very admirable of her and, in its own way, a very attractive quality.

It was at this point when Mike started feeling a sense of protectiveness about her, and while he always thought Artie was a pretty cool guy, the way he was treating Tina left much to be desired. A girl like her, she deserved more respect than that. Granted, he didn't know what it was like to be in Artie's shoes, but he knew he wasn't the only one who felt bad for her. They all knew she had always been there for him, and then, when she had found the nerve to open up to him about something so personal and exposing, he just turned his back on her. It had taken Mike a while before realizing why felt this way about her though. The pieces were all there, but they were hard to put together, and like most puzzles, the answer was the one thing you don't consider.

* * *

Tina was sitting by herself that day, but she wasn't so far removed that Artie was out of her sight. It was obvious to Mike, as he took his seat, that she was still upset. There was a longing in her eyes when she looked his way, and it seemed like she was still secretly hoping that Artie would start talking to her again, but instead he seemed to avoid her at all cost.

Class had been a blur to Mike, once she pulled the slip of paper with his name on it out of the hat. He hadn't been blind to the disappointment on her face when Artie announced that he drew Quinn, and he couldn't blame her. If he had been in her place, he would have taken it as the perfect opportunity to try and work things out, but he would be lying if he said he wasn't happy with the outcome in the end, even if she seemed a little less than thrilled. He tried not to take that personally.

The idea of spending the week with her excited him, but he wasn't sure exactly why. Maybe it was because he would be able to lend a hand and cheer her up a little, she needed some kind of pick me up, that was for sure. Were there any ballads like that out there? There had to be. "What's your schedule like? I mean, when are you free?" The question cut into his thoughts when class was over, and he looked around, realizing that the room was slowly emptying out after Rachel and Mr. Schue finished their duet, which had been making him more than a little uncomfortable. It was just another reason to let his mind wander.

"What?" She caught him off guard, and he responded before fully dissecting what she meant. "Oh yeah. Right. Um " He quickly corrected himself before she had a chance to say anything else, but crap, now she was staring at him like he had not only a second, but a third head growing off his shoulders. Come on Chang, get it together. "Today," Not too eager, remember to breath. "I I'm free today, and tomorrow, for starters. I don't know how long we'll need..." He let his sentence trail off, suddenly aware that it probably wouldn't be the best idea if he let her catch on to the fact that he had already been thinking about this more than the rest of them probably were. Well aside from Rachel, but that hardly counted, she was in a league of her own.

"Are you ok?" She was making a face now, her eyebrows knitted together in a look of semi confusion and concern. So much for being smooth, not that he was known for that, but he liked to think he wasn't a total spaz.

"No, I mean yeah. I mean " Stop. Think before you speak. "I'm fine, I just kind of zoned out," He pointed aimlessly toward the now vacant piano in the middle of the room. "Rachel, Mr. Schue, that was yeah."

"Yeah, I know what you mean." To his surprise, she was laughing, an unexpected, but very welcome response to his frazzled state. "She was intense." A pause while he raised a brow at her, earning him another laugh. "Ok, yeah, she's always intense, but you know what I mean, this was on a whole new level. A new, creepy level."

They fell quiet for a moment, and he glanced over at her, trying to read her body language. Was she upset they were paired up? Why would she be happy about it? After all he was one of those jock football players who always made life hell for the kids like her. Not that he was ever too keen on acting like a Neanderthal, but he'd be lying if he said he never gave in to the peer pressure. He'd done and said some things he wasn't proud of, but as cheesy as it might have sounded, being in Glee Club was opening up his eyes, and he was starting to see it wasn't worth it, which was why he hadn't had a problem choosing them over the team when given the ultimatum. "Are you sure you're ok? Rachel's gone now, it's safe, I promise." Crap, he was flat out staring now and she had caught him.

"Yeah, yeah sorry." He shook his head in a physical attempt to 'shake it off' as one might put it, and then smiled at her. "How about we go to my house after school, we can start working on it then?" She nodded in agreement; it wasn't as though she had much in the way of plans these days anyway.

Once they had made it to his house, Mike lead her into the living room and she found a place to drop her bag, then opted for a seat on the floor. "So, did you have any ideas about what you wanted to sing?" She shook her head. She'd been quite since they met in the parking lot after school, and he worried that he had done something wrong. Swallowing hard, he felt his nerves building up, something he wasn't all together familiar with. Not that it never happened, but it wasn't often. This was not going well at all.

"I don't, I mean expressing my inner most feelings hasn't exactly worked out well for me lately." He froze when she spoke up, it hadn't been at all what he was expecting to hear, but at the same time, he couldn't help feeling a small sense of pride that she had felt comfortable enough to be so candid with him.

"Well " He nodded, wanting her to know that he understood what she meant. "Hey, what about, I heard you humming something the other day, what was it? Would that work?" There was an instant blush that rose up in her cheeks, and he couldn't help thinking that it was cute.

"Oh, that. Mercedes gave me this Beyonce song. She said it would help with...you know." Her shoulders shrugged quickly. "I guess it would kind of work, but" She shook her head quickly. "I I can't sing like her." The small stutter seemed to be one of genuine fear.

"You don't have to sing like Beyonce," He offered her a friendly smile, sliding off of the couch and onto the floor next to her. "This is about you." Without thinking, he reached out and placed his hand on hers. There it was again, that feeling, that undeniable feeling that it belonged there. "Sing it like Tina." He watched as she looked down to their hands, and then up at him, and to his surprise, after a moment's hesitation, she smiled back. He was flying by the seat of his pants right now, but somehow it seemed to work, because a few seconds later, she opened her mouth again.

_"If I were a boy, I think I could understand, how it feels to love a girl, I swear I'd be a better man."_ It was shaky at first, but he didn't care. He had never really heard her sing before, but her voice caught his attention, and it was hard to focus on what he was supposed to. _"I'd listen to her, cause I know how it hurts when you lose the one you wanted cause he's taking you for granted, and everything you had got destroyed."_ As she continued, he fought against closing his eyes, they were supposed to keep eye contact, convey the emotion, and convey it she did. He had been right, she was still hurting and it showed. _"It's a little too late for you to come back, say it's just a mistake. Think I'd forgive you like that? If you thought I would wait for you, you thought wrong, but you're just a boy. You don't understand, and you don't understand, oh how it feels to love a girl. Someday you wish you were a better man."_ He knew the song, he had heard it a hundred times before, and like most men, he had taken some kind of offense to it, seen it as a personal attack, but this time? This time was different. He was hearing the song in a whole new way, and everything about the way she sang it was getting to him. The anger and the hurt, the pain and frustration. He just wanted to make it better. _"You don't listen to her, you don't care how it hurts,"_ He was losing track of the song at this point; her voice was only a distant sound, because the pieces were finally finding their way into the right spots. He liked her. He, Mike Chang, had a crush on Tina Cohen-Chang. _"Until you lose the one you wanted, cause you're taking her for granted, and everything you had got destroyed, but you're just a boy."_ By the time she hit the last note, which was beautifully drawn out before it ended, his attention had found its way back to where it should be. Mostly. It was safe to say that ignoring his new found realization was quite impossible at the moment, especially when he was now thinking about things like wanting to kiss her, something that obviously wasn't a good idea. Well, it _was_ a good idea, he decided, but just not right now.

* * *

"Hey, Chang! Did you get lost over there or something?" Mike looked back behind him to see Puck standing in the middle of the room tapping his foot impatiently. "I got it!" He called out, holding the football up to show the guys. Before heading back to the game though, he turned back around to take one last look at Tina and Artie, ok, mostly Tina, through the small window in the door, but they were already gone.

A few seconds later, as he was tossing the football in Finn's direction, he heard the door open, and looked back toward it once again, hearing a dull thud, and confused "Ow!" coming from the general direction in which he had thrown the ball. _Oops._ He shot Tina a concerned look when she and Artie started across the room to their seats, she looked blank, he couldn't read her, whatever she was feeling, he knew it couldn't be good, but she never saw him, her eyes never left the floor.

It was only moments later that he heard Mr. Schue clap his hands together in the all too familiar signal that said it was time to get down to business. Usually Mike didn't mind when it was time for class to start, when it came to Glee at least, but today? Today he wanted nothing more than to pull Tina aside to find out exactly what happened, and to see if she needed a friend. That was going to have to wait til after however, but then he remembered what today was and couldn't stop himself from frequently looking in her direction. What was she going to do now that it had seemed she lost her dance partner?


	2. Part 2: Tina

_**A/N: **For this part, the lyrics belong to Ruff Endz, they are not mine, and I mean no harm in using them. They just worked for the story telling.

* * *

_

Tina tried to put on a brave face while Artie broke the news to her that he wasn't going to do the dance they'd been working on. She couldn't understand why he thought he had to quit, she didn't care about his wheelchair, she never had, but it was bothering him. All her efforts to fake a smile were failing her, and at her best, she knew she was still unconvincing. It was all she could do not to cry though, so really, she wasn't surprised. There was a guilt that tugged at her about the whole ordeal, and it wasn't helping her current mood. Had she done something wrong? Did she build his hopes up too much? Was it wrong to even say anything in the first place? She hadn't meant to cause any harm, she only wanted to help. She wanted Artie to feel like he could do what he'd always dreamed of, she wanted to help him feel better about it, wanted to give him hope. He sounded upset now though, that was definitely not her goal, and she couldn't help but feel like she had messed up again. Lately, it felt like she couldn't do anything right, and sometimes it left her wondering how much he really did care about her. She knew he did, but it was hard to believe when he made her feel like she needed to change. Deep down, she knew it wasn't that simple, and those were the times when Mercedes would remind her that "he's just bein' a dumb teenage boy," but Tina often suspected those words were just to make her feel better. She loved Artie, and no matter what, she knew there'd always be a place for him in her heart, but lately she didn't know if it was worth it. She could handle a relationship that wasn't exactly 50/50, but she couldn't deal with one that was 90/10, let alone one that was completely one sided, and sometimes, a lot of the time, with Artie, that was exactly what it felt like.

Taking her seat along with everyone else, Tina couldn't help but watch Artie out of the corner of her eye while Mr. Schuester was talking to them. It wasn't as though her mind was paying any attention anyway, so what difference did it make if her eyes were or not? Everything he was saying glossed right over her. She picked out a choice word here or there, but that was about it. The point of anything he was trying to say was completely lost on her, because all she could think about was Artie and what had just happened out in the hall. She was supposed to get up and perform in a minute, without her dance partner. What was she going to do? Dance with someone else. That was the option he gave her. It wasn't how she wanted this to go, the point of it all was for _him_ to dance. She was doing it _for_ him, first and foremost. Somewhere along the way though, it became something she wanted to do for herself as well, but was that really so bad? She tossed the options around in her head, and finally came to a conclusion, if that was how he wanted it to be, her dancing with someone else, then that's what was going to happen. She didn't know if he meant it or not, but regardless, she was going to do it. She wanted everyone to see what she'd been working on.

There was a tugging feeling in her gut when she got called up to face everyone. She knew what she wanted to do, she knew exactly who she wanted dancing with her, and in the front of her mind, she had rationalized it easily. She hadn't known what she was getting into, choreographing a dance routine, it wasn't exactly her specialty, so she asked Mike if he would help her come up with something. At first, she wasn't sure if he really wanted to, he had seemed surprised when she asked, and was acting strange. (Then again, Mike acting strange around her had grown to be a normal thing, ironically enough.) Ultimately though, he agreed to it, and the couple days they spent together figuring it out had been fun. It was a lot of fun, actually, and there was a point when it might have been too much fun. In the back of her mind, she knew that was the real reason she wanted to pick him, and it scared her. It scared her, how he made her smile, but in a good way, which at the same time was bad. Talk about confusing. She had a boyfriend, she wasn't supposed to think about other guys like that, especially when it wasn't the first time he scared her that way.

* * *

When she drew his name as a ballad partner, Tina didn't know what to expect. Mike Chang, she was supposed sing a ballad to football player Mike? They had nothing in common, there was no way he'd ever understand her, and there was no way she was going to understand him. They were from two different worlds; this was a disaster waiting to happen. When they hung back after class to make plans, it was the first time he acted weird around her, but she had just assumed it was because he was disappointed with who he ended up with. He wanted Brittany, she thought. It always seemed to her that he liked her, but he lacked the equipment she desired. By the time they had decided to meet up after school, he seemed to cheer up a little, so she hoped that maybe his earlier weirdness was a result of Brittany and Santana's victory dance at being paired up, and maybe that meant this adventure wasn't going to be total hell.

It was weird to her, being at Mike's place. She wasn't exactly the type who always went over to other peoples' houses. She'd been over to Artie's several times, almost all the time, and she'd been to Kurt's place, and Mercedes' house too, but that was about it. She wasn't exactly a social butterfly. Being at someone else's house was awkward enough as it was, but now she was in the house of someone who there was a 50% chance didn't want her there to begin with. It hadn't helped matters any that she was in a mood, and had been for a couple weeks. After Artie got mad at her, she hadn't been herself, and she could feel people talking behind her back. At first, she thought maybe it was all in her head, but then Mercedes greeted her one morning in a way that could be described as anything but subtle. "Giiiiirl, who fakes a stutter?" Her stomach sank, if Mercedes knew, there was no doubt that the entire club, at the very least, knew. The surefire way to let the whole school know something was to tell Mercedes, everyone knew that. Maybe Artie told her to teach Tina a lesson. That was what she thought anyway.

To Tina's surprise, her friend was a lot better about it than Artie had been. After a day of pampering themselves and shopping at the mall while they talked, she'd been feeling better. Well, about everyone knowing her secret at least. Artie on the other hand? Well that was a different story. Mercedes knew how Tina felt about him, she was the only one she ever told, so it was needless to say that Mercedes knew how heartbroken Tina was over it, and given her own messy situation with Kurt earlier that year, she understood all too well. When they left the mall, she handed Tina a small bag from the music store, and when she looked inside, she saw Beyonce's "I Am…Sasha Fierce" CD. When she got home, she listened to track number one, the song she'd been told would make her feel better, the one that would help her channel the anger. The song stayed on repeat for over a week.

As the words poured from her mouth, Tina couldn't hide the butterflies that were circulating in her stomach. She was terrified, she didn't know Mike that well, she didn't know if she could trust him, and for her, in that moment, the song felt soul exposing. By the end of it, however, she had become more at ease with him, and she found that it wasn't as difficult as she thought it would be to look him in the eye. She got into it, actually, and everything she'd been feeling for the past week came spilling out, and she couldn't stop it. Biting her lip when she finished, her eyes immediately broke their hold on his, but looked back, shyly, after a taking a moment. He was still looking at her, and intensely so. What that look meant, she didn't know, but it made her nervous. "Um…" She cleared her throat and looked down, realizing he was still holding her hand, and what's more, while she knew she should let go, she found that she didn't want to. "So…" Like ripping off a band aid, she pulled her hand back quickly, under the guise of scratching the back of her head as she looked back up at him. "Do you know what song you want to sing?"

"Oh. Yeah, a song." He sounded about as nervous as she felt, maybe she was making him uncomfortable, maybe she shouldn't have sung that song, maybe she should kept her emotion more in check, regardless of their assignment. "I've been thinking about that all day. I uh, I think I have one." He let out a small chuckle of laughter, and rubbed the back of his neck. "I, yeah…So I'll just? Ok." Her lips curved up into a small smile while he seemed to have a quick conversation with himself. She thought it was cute, if she was being honest. Oh god, did she really just think that? What the hell was going on with her? "I don't know if I remember it all, but uh are you ready?"

"What? Oh" She realized her mind was wandering and snapped out of it, giving him a quick nod and reassuring smile. "Yeah, I'm ready, go for it."

He nodded, and she watched, giving him the same attention he had given her. _"I see the way he treats you, I feel the tears you cried, and it makes me sad, and it makes me mad. There's nothing I can do baby, cause your lover is my best friend, and I guess that's where the story ends."_ Right away, her mind started turning. Why did he pick this song? It sounded familiar, she was sure she heard it before, but she couldn't place it, and she definitely hadn't known the lyrics before now. _"So I've gotta try to keep it inside, you will never be, never be mine. But if I was the one who was loving you, baby, the only tears you'd cry would be tears of joy."_ Had she been looking at him the way he was looking at her right now when she sang? _"And if I was by your side, you'll never know one lonely night. And if it was my arms you were running to, I'd give you love in these arms of mine. If I was the one in your life."_ It felt like he was actually singing it to her. That's what he was supposed to do though, right? Maybe he was just better than anyone knew, after all, she hadn't heard him sing on his own before. _"If I could have just one wish, I'd wish that you were mine. I would hold you near, kiss away those tears. I'd be so good to you baby."_ Suddenly, it clicked. What was she thinking? He was singing this about Brittany, of course. 'He' in the context of the song, meant Santana. _"You're the one I want next to me, but I guess that's just not meant to be. He's there in your life, and he's sharing your nights, it'll never be, never be right."_ She felt stupid for thinking for even a second that he could be singing it to her, and she also felt…disappointed. She was disappointed that he wasn't singing it to her. _"If I was the one who was loving you, baby, the only tears you'd cry would be tears of joy. And if I was by your side, you'll never know one lonely night. And if it was my arms you were running to, I'd give you love in these arms of mine."_ Why did she want him to be talking about her? Where did this even come from? Maybe it was the compassion he seemed to show her this past week, while she was catching other people staring point blank, he was offering understanding smiles. Maybe it had to do with the way he was looking at her just then, while she sang her song. Maybe that's why she didn't want to let go of his hand…maybe she liked him. Her mind was going a mile a minute, and the words started to become a blur. _"If I was the one in your life." _

The room grew silent, and it was only then that she realized he was finished, and that she was still staring at him, and he was staring back. There was something about the look in his eyes that she could figure out. Absentmindedly, she licked her lips, then saw him do the same. Was it hot? It felt like it was getting really hot in there, or maybe that was just her. Her cheeks felt like they were on fire. Suddenly, without warning, she jumped up from where she sat on the floor. "I uh," She fumbled around for her bag quickly. "You should, you know," She was flustered, very flustered. "let Brittany know how you feel." She sputtered the words out quickly, without really thinking about it.

"What?" She caught a quick glimpse of his expression, he looked confused, maybe a little disappointed himself. "Yeah, yeah I guess I should just be honest." Was he just playing along? Or was she right? She didn't want to find out.

"I should go, my mom's probably wondering where I am." Finally, she managed to locate her bag, and swung it over her shoulder.

"I'll give you a ride." He sounded hopeful as he pulled himself to his feet.

"No, that's ok, I'll walk, it's not far!" She was already halfway out the door when she called out to him. Hurrying down the front steps and out to the sidewalk, she moved with a quick pace, and it was only after she'd rounded the corner and sure she was out of sight, that she burst into tears. This was confusion on top of confusion. How had her life become so complicated so fast? It used to be so simple, zero mess, and now? Well now, she didn't know what she was even thinking anymore.

* * *

When Mr. Schue asked Tina who she'd be performing with, she could feel her hands shaking, but despite that, she put on the bravest face she could. It wasn't easy, but she didn't want the rest of them to see how shaken she'd been, and she tried to ignore the look Artie was giving her. It screamed apologetic, but she couldn't let it get to her this time, even if it did pull, unfairly, at her heart. Instead, she focused her attention on the back of the room, where Mike was sitting next to Finn, wanting to catch his eye. She didn't even need to try though, his attention was already on her, which by itself was enough to make her pulse quicken, and if she hadn't been so desperate in that moment, she would have worried about it. Exchanging glances with him, there was a pleading sort of look in her eyes, one that he seemed to understand. How? She wasn't sure, but what she did know was that he was nodding at her, a look that obviously told her to do what she needed to, not that she was surprised. Mike had become one of her best friends, and he'd proven, without a doubt, that he had her back. Her eyes then darted back to Artie, just long enough to tell him she was giving in to his request.


End file.
